I am at the end of week three of my Fitness transformation. Each week has come with some challenges, because my saboteur has been right by my side every step of the way. I find this interesting because this hasn’t happened for a long time and it is helping me deepen my writing. I have been on a path of personal and spiritual growth for 25 years so it is not like I have deep-seated issues and yet I am still visited by the voice of the Saboteur from time to time,
This particular aspect of the Saboteur is rigid, obsessive and concrete. Most of the chatter coming from that little bugger was about food. I found out today that I had misinterpreted my food plan, thinking I needed to cut out all carbohydrates beyond what was in my morning protein drink. But here is the real kicker. I went to both the Renaissance Festival and The Minnesota State Fair this past weekend. It was a holiday for god’s sake, Saboteur, give me a break! I did pretty well with eating at the Renaissance Festival and walked almost non-stop for the 6+ hours we were there. The State Fair was a different story. Even though my daughter kept asking why I wasn’t eating, I ate more than I wanted to. And to my Saboteur the 5 hours of non-stop walking didn’t balance out what I ate.
No, to that task master I had screwed up the whole week because I ate things that were not in the plan. My “Fat” voice kicked in and it took me a few days to get back on track with my thinking. I reality with all of the walking I did, it really didn’t matter what I eat at the Fair. It was probably burned off!
On a positive note, my body continues to change. I am smaller, I am stronger and more flexible. I am beginning to see a glimmer of liking my workouts. Today during my workout there was only one exercise that I found a little challenging.
If you find this happening to you, just remember, much of our memory is stored in the cells and cellular memory is the hardest to access. When this voice starts to come up and challenge you it is just cellular memory ready to be released. I am actually happy that it is happening so it can be acknowledged and released once and for all.